(more) substantial.

i want to know
how to grow
into what i need.
learn to decipher
the things that i see.
i want to look tall.
talk small.
be who i want to be.
but this isn't a story
about a girl
who's longing.
this is a story
about a girl
who's falling.
down.
and up again.
tripping over
everything and
everyone.
wondering when
someone
will help her stand.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i am so sorry.
i can't be the girl
i used to be.
can't dream the same
i used to dream.
and i sure as hell can't
sleep the way
i used to sleep.
sometimes my speech
turns off.
and sometimes i just can't walk.
substantial doubt.
substantial hope.
substantial.
little by little.
i lose it all.
little by little
i hear my call.
come, and i will take you
to one more place.
one more place?
one in mind.