i can hear my train comin'.

i can hear my train coming/it's a lonesome and distant cry/i can hear my train coming/now i'm running for my life/what makes a man walk away from his mind?/i think i know/i think i might know/i can feel the wind blowing/it's sending shivers down my spine/i can feel the wind blowing/shakes the trees and the power lines/what makes a man spend his whole life in disguise?/i think i know/i think i might know/what makes a man?/i can see the sun setting/it's casting shadows on the sea/i can see the sun, it's setting/it's getting colder, starting to freeze/what makes a man want to break a heart with ease?/i think i know/i think i might know/i can hear my train coming/it looks like time is on my side...

now what do i write? all of this has been confirmed... i'm going to england. the lord spoke very clearly. so, now what? and what is wrong with me? why can't i write!? i can't ever get my thoughts straight and my mind is so full of all this mess. ugh! i need some clarity - i just want to think straight.

right now the weather is beckoning me to come join it. to come bask in it's glory because the lord created it from nothing, for me. us. ahhhh nature is so beautiful, lord. so raw and organic, and oh how i love rawness. like when your lips are raw. or hands. and you are cold and vulnerable. mmm. such beauty in rawness. like driving down an old country road with just You and the stars and the yellow lines. with the windows rolled down, listening to something that makes your heart beat faster because of the memories of a certain time when that song meant more to you than anything. or maybe just silence. yes. silence. and maybe your best friend sitting in the passenger seat... laughing because there's nothing else to do but laugh. to feel the wind in my face. Your sweet icy breath. ahhh that's what i need. it's what i want. Your breath so that i can breathe.

notes from my encouragement time:
•hidden gold in deep mine--deep treasure that you and He want to come out
•don't be afraid to go for it and try something new--try and discover this treasure
•deep cries out to deep (ps 42:7-8)
•He wants to take me deeper and the deep things in me want to be consumed by Him
•the Lord wants me to be completely free of control
•"diving in"
•i don't have to do what other people pressure me to do
•tight rope/high wire--just let go. fall off.
•God's will is a river--it's not about the perfect step. enjoy it.
•doodling--let the Holy Spirit control it
•1 cor. 2:10
•healing broken wings--desire/passion that is lost? you think it can't be restored, but the Lord can revive and repair it