last night i sat in my room alone for a really long time. i did a lot of thinking. i still really can't believe that i'm leaving. every day it's drawing nearer and nearer and getting even more real than before... i know, because sometimes i just start crying. last night i wanted to go driving. and i started thinking about how people do things to clear their heads, you know. that's so dumb. you don't do something like drive around at three o'clock in the morning for hours upon hours to clear your head. you do it to think more than you already have been. but it's ok. you know, thinking too much is good sometimes. processing is good.
114 days until i catch my plane.
lately i've been feeling like i'm not good enough. not enthusiastic enough. too boring. not attractive enough. not interesting in the right ways, so that i can please someone. maybe even too strange. too obscure. too quirky. what? and i'm realizing something as i'm typing this... i didn't choose him. he chose me. and he appointed me to go. he says i'm good enough. he says he loves me for my enthusiasm and my obscurities and my quirkiness. (john 15:16).
thank you. because there are many.
wandering mind.
2 comments:
Yes. The Lord chose us. We could not delight Him more. You are never a burden to Him, never a bore. And He's given me His eyes to see that. Never a disappointment, my love.
such truth. echoing what hannah said--he's chosen us. not because we earned it but just because that's how he wanted it. we're good enough, MORE than good enough, by the perfect blood.
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